Relaxing Into Yourself

Several weeks ago, I did something I’ve never done in my 25 years of facilitating breathwork: I used one of my own recordings for a breathwork journey. I know, I know—you’d think after all this time, I’d have done that already! But fear held me back. I was worried I’d be overly critical of my facilitation, that I’d feel self-conscious, that I’d cringe at the sound of my own voice. But…it turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable experience. As I settled in and started breathing along with my own guidance, I felt this incredible sense of relief wash over me. It was liberating to realize that I could be with myself in that way—that I didn’t have to hide from myself (literally, my own voice!). The discomfort I’d anticipated just wasn’t there. This experience got me thinking about how far I’ve come on my personal journey. Over the years, I’ve used many tools to bring me closer to myself—The Passion Test, Family Constellations, Intimacy Coaching—and they’ve all contributed significantly. But if I’m honest, it’s the consistency of my breathwork practice that’s truly enabled me to relax into myself. Especially over this past summer, when I committed to breathing for 30+ days straight, I noticed a profound shift (read more about that experience here). One of the greatest gifts that consistent breathwork offers is helping me feel more comfortable in my own skin. It helps me feel more relaxed in who I am, more present in the moment with myself, without that annoying inner critic constantly trying to make comments. So what am I getting at? Am I suggesting that you record yourself reading a meditation script, and then listen to it? Not necessarily! Though you can try it if you’re up for it 🙂 By sharing my own experience, I hope that I can encourage you to explore ways to get more comfortable in your own skin. Let’s talk about that.

Becoming Comfortable

Here’s the beautiful thing about breathwork: the container of breathwork itself allows you to learn, in a way that feels safe, to just be with whatever you’re experiencing in the moment—whether that’s an emotion, a physical sensation, or an insight. We’ve all been conditioned to shut down parts of ourselves. We’re taught to put a closed lid on our grief (or other strong emotions) and to suppress our aliveness (even when it shows up as excitement or sensuality). But breathwork gives us a space to undo all that conditioning. It takes time and consistency, but with each session, we build resilience. We learn that we can simply be with moments of anger, fear, or sadness—all those things we typically turn away from—without collapsing into them or judging the experience. Life—or rather, our culture—repeats this conditioning to us every day. For example, if someone finds you crying, they’ll likely ask, “What’s wrong?” as if expressing emotion is somehow bad. We’re constantly told to suppress parts of ourselves when we’re out in public and even in our personal lives. That’s why consistent practice is so crucial. It’s not about reversing the conditioning once and for all; it’s about regularly reminding ourselves that it’s OKAY to just be as we are. I often feel safest and most at peace after a breathwork journey, so that’s my main tool for undoing the conditioning. Nothing in my external life has changed, but when I pause to consciously breathe, I reconnect with that deep sense of okayness within myself. It’s a powerful reminder that peace doesn’t come from changing our external circumstances, but from being accepting of ourselves in this moment, exactly as we are.

Tips for Relaxing Into Yourself

Here are some practical tips and tricks I’ve learned over the years:

1. Start Small: You don’t need to commit to hour-long sessions right away. Begin with just 5-10 minutes of conscious breathing each day. Set a timer, find a comfortable position, and focus on your breath. This small commitment can make a big difference over time.
2. Create a Safe Space: Designate a specific area in your home for your breathwork practice. It could be a corner of your bedroom, a spot in your garden, or even a comfy chair. Make it inviting with items that bring you comfort, like soft blankets, calming scents, or meaningful objects.
3. Use Guided Sessions: If you’re new to breathwork or find it challenging to practice on your own, start with guided sessions. There are many great recordings available (and soon, you’ll have access to a whole library through my monthly membership!).
4. Practice Non-Judgment: As you breathe, thoughts and feelings will arise. Instead of trying to push them away or judge them, practice observing them with curiosity. Everything that comes up is okay.
5. Incorporate Body Awareness: As you breathe, scan your body from head to toe. Notice any areas of tension or discomfort without trying to change them. This practice will help you become more comfortable with physical sensations.
6. Journal After Sessions: Take a few minutes after each breathwork session to jot down your experiences. This can help you process what came up and track your progress over time.
7. Be Consistent: This is my most important tip! Even if you can only breath for 1 minute and feel like you’re doing it “wrong” just keep showing up. No matter what. It’s better to do a few minutes every day than an hour once every few months. Think of it like eating: your body has more energy when you eat every day instead of once a week. Breathing and making a space for yourself will nourish you more and undo conditioning faster when it’s regular.
8. Be Patient with Yourself: Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s completely normal. The goal isn’t to have a “perfect” practice, but to show up for yourself.
9. Integrate Breathwork into Daily Life: Start noticing your breath during your daily activities. Waiting in line at the grocery store? Take a few deep breaths. Feeling stressed at work? Pause for a moment of conscious breathing.
10. Join a Community: Practicing with others, even virtually, can be incredibly supportive. It reminds us that we’re not alone in this journey of self-discovery and growth. I have free monthly Breath Is Prayer ceremonies if you’re feeling a nudge to attend. I’d love to see you there!

The goal of all these practices is to help you feel more at home in yourself. It’s about creating a loving, accepting relationship with all parts of you—even the parts you might currently find challenging.

A Little Guidance

I’m so excited about the upcoming launch of my Breath Is Prayer membership program! It’s designed to support you in establishing a consistent breathwork practice, providing you with the tools, guidance, and community to help you relax into yourself more fully. You’ll have access to a library of over 40 themed breathwork recordings, along with weekly live sessions. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to deepen your existing practice, there will be resources to meet you where you are. And it’s launching next month! If you’d like to be notified as soon as it launches, I encourage you to sign up for updates here . Let’s breathe together and find those moments of comfort. Also, if you’re curious about my other offerings, or just want to talk, I invite you to book a 15-minute discovery session with me. Let’s chat!   link to an interest form

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